10 Things Never to Say to a New Midlife Mother

As we have some friends who have not had their first child until they were in their forties we've heard all the comments they have heard.  One friend who had her first at 39 had a waitress in a shocked voice ask our friend "How Old Are You"? The waitress was about seventeen and seemed to be utterly shocked that a woman in her thirties would dare have a child.   Seems that when you do something other perceive as "not normal"  there is always some rude moron that will make some dumb comment on it.  I cane across this article that goes over the 10 things you should never say to a new midlife mother and some good responses to give if you are a midlife mother and some idiot feels the need to say any of this crap to you.

From the article.

"1. "Are you the grandmother?"
Unless you need to ask this to determine whether an AARP card is applicable, or to somehow confirm lineage, don't even ask. Not only is this a painful question for any woman/mother over 40, but if applied incorrectly, it's an insult to the children who are usually listening. Think about the overall cost/benefit of asking this question, especially if little ones are in tow.

2. "How old were you when you had/adopted your child?"
Is this your business?

3. "Do you know how selfish you are?"
This references the fact that I may die long before I get to experience my children's milestones and leave my children motherless. However, people die at every age. Long life is not a sure bet for anyone.

4. "Why would you have/adopt a child at your age?"
Why not?"

Full article here.