Merry Christmas Red Tape. (Christmas Humor)

No idea who wrote this but a Facebook friend shared it and I had to share it with you.

Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs.

The assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.

Finally, for those involved in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas – be safe out there.......

"DWHigh: Marijuana and Driving" (Full Story)

Let's Stop Giving Shit to Women Who Don't Want Kids. (shared article with my own comments)

Great article.  I especially love it as it was written by a woman who has kids.   People need to stop sticking their noses in to other peoples reproductive lives.  It is none of your business if someone else has kids or not.  Besides, why is it such a big concern of yours if your friend, co worker, or family member has kids.  Why are you that interested in someone elses reproductive life.  That sounds rather creepy when you think about it.   It is their business, not yours.

Link Here.

Ellie Goulding directed by Scarlett Johansson (Full Performance) | #Amex...

The New Starbucks Cup is not a War on Christmas

Posted by Zman

Every year it seems the war on Christmas crowd finds a new target.  This year as we all know it is Starbucks.  This year as we all know by now Starbucks changed the design of their cup from winter scenes and snowflakes to a red and green cup.  Not a big deal.  Well to most of us anyway.  But to some , it was as if the world has come to an end.   The people with the persecution complexes had to get all butt hurt over the new cup design and claim Starbucks was raging a "war on Christmas" because they changed the design of a coffee cup and are trying to take the "Christ out of Christmas" .  These people I guess are not smart enough to realize that first, red and green are in fact Christmas colors. And second, winter scenes and Reindeer are not Christian symbols.  Some of these nuts are even calling for a boycott of Starbucks.  What makes this even sillier is that Starbucks has plenty of other Christmas themed products.  Not to mention that Starbucks is a private company.  They are not required to do anything to recognize any holiday.  If you don't like the fact that Starbucks has red and green coffee cups here is what you do.  I'll make this very simple for those of you who have a hard time with this kind of thing.  BUY YOUR COFFEE SOMEPLACE ELSE.  See what a simple solution that is?   And you don't have to make yourself look like a complete idiot for getting all butt hurt over the color of a coffee cup.

There is no war on Christmas.  All the TV specials, Christmas displays in stores, the fact that most stores have already begun playing Christmas Music.  The whole idea that there is somehow a war on Christmas is just laughable.   If you are bothered by things like the color of a cup or how someone greets you during the holiday season, I suggest you take a look at your priorities because they are pretty messed up and  you are being a complete idiot.   Not everyone is going to conform to your way of thinking.   Suck it up buttercup and quit complaining about the color of a cup when there are far more important things to be worrying about.  Put some of that energy in to you know helping the homelesss, feeding the hungry, taking care of the sick.  You know things Christ might do?  Funny how those of us who don't believe in a god understand what the stores of Christ taught better than some Christians.   Forget putting the Christ back in Christmas.  How about putting Christ back in  Christianity and stop complaining about such mundane stuff.

Satanic Temple Answers Coaches Prayer

Another religious nut wants to use school time to pray.  Well, what these nuts keep forgetting is that if they are allowed to pray to their imaginary friend during a school activity or on school time then all beliefs must be allowed.  I love when things like this backfire on these nuts.

Full Story Here

Sean Hannity Falls for Hoax News Story and Defends Himself by Attacking The Site that Called Him Out Making Him Look Like An Even Bigger Fool

Sean Hannity tried to defend himself after falling for a fake news story by attacking the site that called him out and making himself look even more foolish.  I guess when you call a right wing nut out for falling for a fake news story they react by calling you a "liberal"  and claim they are being attacked because they just cannot admit when they are wrong and to top if off you then try and claim you never said what you said even though there is video of you saying it on your own show and a written transcript to go along with the video proving you said it.  Wow, When these right wing nuts  dig themselves in to a hole they dig a big one.   Which makes them look even more childish.

Full article here.

REI to give its Employees Black Friday Off

Kudos to REI for doing this for its employees.

Full Story here.

Your Brain on Marijuana is Just Fine

People like to say that smoking Marijuana kills brain cells but just like the other negative effects people like to claim this one too is false.

Full story here.

In Case You Missed It, Watch The Wild Seventh Inning of Today's Blue Jays/Rangers Game

If you missed the Blue Jays Vs Rangers game today.  You missed the wild seventh inning.  Below is a video link to what happened

Video here.

Ten Myths About The Ten Commandments

From the article,

"Legislators in Arkansas believe that you can’t fathom America without first understanding the Ten Commandments.

“In order that they may understand and appreciate the basic principles of the American system of government, the people of the United States of America and of the State of Arkansas need to identify the Ten Commandments, one of many sources, as influencing the development of what has become modern law,” intoned legislation authorizing placement of a Ten Commandments monument at the state Capitol in Little Rock.

There is one problem, though: No evidence exists that the Ten Commandments, a code of religious behavior found in the Old Testament of the Bible, in any way influenced the development of the American system of government.

The belief that the Decalogue is the font of all American law and the basis of our government is treasured by many Religious Right activists. But that doesn’t mean it’s accurate. As proposals to display the Ten Commandments on government property spread, it’s important to understand what’s really going on here: Powerful sectarian lobbies are looking for a way to create a symbolic merger between church and state by persuading government bodies to display a code that largely regulates religious behavior.

With that thought in mind, here are 10 myths about the Ten Commandments:

1.) The Founding Fathers relied on the Ten Commandments when creating the American government.

The Founding Fathers rarely, if ever, cited the Ten Commandments during the creation of the American government.

This question of the founders’ relationship to the Ten Commandments was answered definitively in 2003 when 41 professors and legal historians weighed in on a lawsuit challenging Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore’s display of the Ten Commandments in the state Judicial Building in Montgomery. The scholars, brought together by Steven K. Green, former legal director at Americans United and now a law professor at Willamette University College of Law in Salem, Ore., filed a friend-of-the-court brief mustering ample historical evidence to debunk claims by Moore’s attorneys that the judge had the right to display the Ten Commandments because they are the foundation of American law.

Nothing in the nation’s legal history supports Moore’s view, the legal scholars and historians said, asserting in part, “Aside from a failed attempt in the seventeenth century to establish a biblically based legal system in the Puritan colonies, American law is generally viewed as having secular origins.”

The brief noted that “various documents and texts” figured in the development of American law, among them English common and statutory law, Roman law, the civil law of continental Europe and private international law.

American law, they pointed out, was also influenced by the writings of William Blackstone, John Locke, Adam Smith and others as well as the Magna Carta, the Federalist Papers and other sources.

“Each of these documents had a far greater influence on America’s laws than the Ten Commandments,” asserted the brief. “Indeed, the legal and historical record does not include significant and meaningful references to the Ten Commandments, the Pentateuch or to biblical law generally…as can best be determined, no delegate ever mentioned the Ten Commandments or the Bible.”

Concluded the brief, “While the Ten Commandments have influenced some of our notions of right and wrong, a wide variety of other documents have played a more dominant and central role in the development of American law. No respected scholar of legal or constitutional history would assert that the Ten Commandments have played a dominant or major role, or even a significant role, in the development of American law as a whole. To insist on a closer relationship or to claim the Ten Command­ments has a special place in the development of American law lacks historical support.”

Full article here.

17 biblical rules for marriage the Kim Davis set chooses to ignore

Despite what Kim Davis and her ilk will tell you marriage has been defined many ways in the bible  and has many rules they seem to have forgotten.  Here are 17 different rules regarding biblical marriage.  I would love to hear someone point this stuff out to thesse nuts.  I'm sure that would be very entertaining.

article here 

The Death Star Architect Speaks Out

Christian Persecution in the U S is A Myth (Video)

Many Christians in the U S will claim they are being persecuted for their beliefs.  This is simply a myth.   What they are really upset about is that they are not allowed to use their religion to spread their hate.  These people clearly have no idea what actual persecution is.  The article and videos below explain why the whole idea of Christians being persecuted in the U S is completely insane.

Article and videos here 

Kim Davis Supporters Getting More and More Desperate As They Realize They Are Losing.

If you serve in a public capacity and your job is to issue marriage licenses you do not get to opt out because of your religious beliefs.   As has been noted, Kim Davis has been married four times and has committed adultery.  Yet wants to claim she won't issue marriage licenses because of her "deeply held religious beliefs and what the bible says about homosexuality"  Now if people like Kim Davis would actually read the bible they would also realize that divorce and adultery are also against biblical law.  Not to mention that she also wears mixed fabrics which is also banned.  I wonder if these same nuts who support Kim Davis would also support a county clerk who did not want to issue a gun permit due to their religious beliefs,  I'm guessing they would all be up in arms ovver that one pardon the pun.  You cannot use your religion as an excuse to push your bigotry especially if your job is serving the public.  If you think your beliefs prevent you from doing your job then you should not be doing that job.

Her supporters know they are losing as public opinion has change d in favor of marriage equality and they don't realize how absurd they sound.  

Full story here.

Not All Heroes Are People - Daisy The Dog Hoax

Now there are a few obvious clues that this is false.  First, the idea that one dog would run alone back in to a building to rescue almost 1,000 people is a little silly, second, The World Trade Center only had 110 floors not 112.  The person who made this story up was not very good at checking their acts.  Also a guide dog is not going to leave its owners side.  Once a dog and his or her owner is out of a burning building the dog is not going to run back in without his master.  Third,  there is no evidence that a dog named Daisy was one of the service dogs that actually did help rescue people from the WTC.  Also, if this really did happen there would have been all over the news and no credible news service has any such story.  Now there were indeed service dogs that did rescue people from the WTC and they did get plenty of media attention.  So there is no need to keep sharing this story as it never happened.

This article has more on the hoax. 

Hackers Steel Account Information From 225,000 I Phone Users Who's Phones Have Been Jail Broken

Here is the article. 

Google Will Soon Start Punishing Mobile Sites That Use Annoying App Install Ads

Those ads that take up the whole screen on your mobile device could be a thing of the past if more search engines follow suite.

Full Story Here

Religious Nut Case Pat Robertson: Market Crash God's Punishment For Abortion Rights, Planned Parenthood Funding - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/pat-robertson-market-crash-gods-punishment-abortion-rights-planned-parenthood-funding#sthash.db03PvaH.dpuf

I don't know about you but the god this nut keeps talking about does not sound like the kind of god I'd want anything to do with . Basically this god does not get his way so he throws a temper tantrum and causes bad things to happen? Sounds more like a seven year old throwing a fit because he didn't get his way. I think the idea that an angry god causes disasters is not something that most people even most Christians have believed for quite some time. I think Patty boy needs to get his mind out of the fifteenth century.

Full story here.

10 egregious myths the religious perpetuate about atheists, debunked

It seems silly that people actually believe these myths but they do.  

Article here.

Missouri Lawmakers Propose An Intern Dress Code To Stop Colleagues From Harassing Students

I'm all for people of both sexes dressing professionally when it is appropriate but let's now have a dress code simply to victim blame.  What a woman wears to work is no excuse for a man to harass her.

From the article.

"Democrats, however, said thinking an intern dress code would solve the culture problem was nothing more than victim-blaming.

"We should never infer that the problem -- and therefore the remedies -- lies with the student interns," state Rep. Kip Kendrick (D) said."

link to full story here. 

Pot Smoking Associated With Smaller Waistlines, Lower Risk of Diabetes

New research confirms that Cannabis smoking can help with weight loss.  This is great news for those who have battled the bulge and have difficulty losing weight.

article here.

Facebook post exposes ridiculous high school dress code

These school dress code policies that shame girls need to be stopped.  From the article, "I think he explained it perfectly. He doesn't want to convey that they were asking for "it." We all know what they're asking for. "It." "It" makes all of these boys (and men maybe?) unable to learn stuff like math and history. And instead of teaching boys to stop sexually harassing girls and instead of creating an environment that completely sexualizes girls—it's easier to just do what's always been done: shame girls for wearing clothes that make boys feel funny."  

Full article here. 

Pat Robertson Says He’s Not Psychic: God Just Talks to Directly to Him

Normally we put people who hear voices and talk to imaginary friends in a mental institution for treatment.  Unless of course they are a religious person.  If I were to walk around saying this people would think I was off my rocker but because Pat Roberson is a religious person it is OK.  Society finds nothing wrong if a person who goes to church says something like this.    

From the article, "On this segment of the 700 Club, Robertson says he doesn’t have psychic abilities. He just receives messages from God that allows him to heal others. If Robertson were not a religious figure and said this, he would be placed in an institution. Amazing how society will lock up homeless people who claim to communicate with God, but if a person goes to church and says this, then they are proclaimed to have spiritual and moral superiority."  

Link to full article here. 

9 Animal "Facts" Everyone gets wrong

You have probably heard these "facts"  many times.  Don't touch a baby bird if youfind one on the ground or its mother will abandon it,  A Ducks quack does not echo, yes there are peoplee who actually believe that,  bees die after they sting you, but these are all myths.  Here is an article taht talks about the nine most common Animal "facts"  that spread on the internet that are actually false.

Article here. 

The Top Pet Peeves of Blind and Visually Impaired People.

I have to credit my friend Just Jo for finding this one.  

OK, here's a few pet peeves of the blind. For you who are sighted, enjoy the laughs and enjoy them for the truth they hold, quite a few of these apply to me, one way or another.

1~ When we ask where something is, saying "right there" isn't the response we were hoping for. And saying it again louder isn't any more helpful. Give specific directions.

2~ Pointing is just as worthless to us. We are blind. We have no idea that you're even pointing! That's why we are still standing here looking confused…

3~ Telling us not to worry, because our other senses will take over is not comforting. We know you may mean well but the fact is there is no replacement for vision. It's a loss. It sucks. Try not to minimize the suckyness of it and invalidate our feelings. We'd rather you just said nothing.

4~ On the other hand, don't assume that we are miserable because we are blind. There are many very well-adjusted and happy blind folks that live it up and enjoy full and satisfying lives. And I'm one of them!
5~ Speaking to the person we're with instead of to us isn't necessary or polite. We aren't deaf, mute, or stupid. (But when you do this, we think you're the latter of the three.) We can't see, but we can hear and speak for ourselves just fine.

6~ Saying "follow me" is nice but if you're going to take off like a jack rabbit and leave us behind not knowing where you went it kind of defeats the purpose. 🏃Offer an arm or slow your roll.

7~ And when I say offer an arm, I don't mean grab our arm and attempt to drag or steer us, or yank on us! We don't like that shiza and it doesn't work anyways. The proper way to guide the blind just let them take your arm. We can feel the subtle changes in the way you move and follow accordingly.

8~ Want to get choked? Grab a blind or visually impaired persons white cane or dog guide. That is our security. It's the closest thing to eyes that we have. Without it we are lost. Imagine someone ripping your eyeballs out of your head. Yeah. Don't touch. 🚫
9~ Another way to piss us off is to wave objects right in our face as if we will see them better. If you're trying to hand us or show us something verbally tell us and place it in our hands. Derr!

10~ Almost equally annoying is when you ask us how many fingers you're holding up. We don't care, and we are likely to hold one up right back at you. Can you guess which one?

11~ When we inform you that we're blind and you say, "Oh me too, I'm as blind as a bat without my glasses!"we secretly want to stab you in the eyes and teach you what blindness actually is. Just saying. 👓

12~ Please don't ask us to take off our sunglasses. They're kind of comforting to us. Also, our eyes are sensitive to the light. I know what you're thinking: How can your eyes be sensitive to light if you're blind? Trust me it's possible! We aren't up to anything shady, except for shading our eyes from the light. Oh, they make you feel uncomfortable? Well suck it up buttercup... guess how we feel. 😎

DARTH VADER CONDOM CONTAINS THE MESSAGE: I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER

This is genius

link here

Pot Smoking Associated With Smaller Waistlines, Lower Risk of Diabetes

This is good news for people who have a hard time losing weight.  Good article.

article here.

Why Saying, "Just in Case" Is Not An Excuse For Sharing Those Sick Baby Hoaxes on Facebook.

Sick baby hoaxes are among the most disgusting hoaxes you can share on Facebook,  they are a horrible way for a page to generate likes and shares and they do not raise any money for the child.  In face many times the photos shared are not even of a sick child.  They are lifted off of people's personal photos  Many times when you point out to someone who shares one of these scams that it is indeed a scam, there is always that one friend who will say, "well just in case it is true I shared it."  Here is a good article whey "Just in case" is not a valid excuse for sharing this garbage.

aLink to story here. 

Law Suite Alleges Student Was Quizzed About Religion, Forced to Eat Lunch By Himself.

If this is true this teacher should be fired and never allowed to work with children again. I wouldn't even let this teacher pick up my dog crap. Imagine the uproar by the far right if this student was a Christian and treated this way. ""During a discussion with classmates on the playground [a second grade student] responded to a question by indicating that he did not go to church because he did not believe in God. This resulted in his teacher interrogating the child as to his beliefs and requiring the child to sit by himself during lunch and not talk to his classmates during lunch for three days."

The ACLU of Indiana has filed suit.

link to full story here.