Posted by Zman
Many of you might be getting ready to head off to collage this fall. Now for many this transiton will go smoothly. I’m not talking about just being on your own, I’m talking about the parents who have no trouble excepting the fact that their grwon children are moving on and will have their own lives. Many parents seem to make this transition well. However there are those that insist on holding on to the apron strings. They seem to think they can still tell their adult children how they can live while they are away at school. My parents fit in to this catagory. Now my parents are good people but they just had some issues with the apron strings when I left for collage.
A couple of the more silly examples of their attempts, First they tried to tell me what I could and could not buy with the money I made at my campus job. Really, they thought it was right to tell an adult who was twenty two a the time what he coud buy? I tried explaining to them on many occasions that is is rude to tell someone else how to spend the money they make themselves. They just never seemed to understand this fact. The real irritating part was they never tried this on my younger sisters. A point which I made to them several times. Of course never getting an answer so I found the best way to deal with this problem was just to smile and nod and do what I was going to do anyway. Telling your adult children how to spend the money they make themselves is just plain rude and bossy. You have no right as a partent to tell your adult child how to spend the money he makes. Period. Now if it is your parents money that is different but don’t let them tell you what you can and cannot buy wiht the money you make. Again, the best way to handle this is just to smile and nod. It’s your money like it or not there is nothing they can do about it as much as they might moan and complain. Another good way to handle the problem is to embarrass them. Tell all your relatives what your parents are doing. I did that too and that got them to knock it off.
Another amusing story, I paid my own phone bill on time every month. There was a family reunion that I was not able to attend back home. I aw sent a card signed by several people saying they were sorry they missed me. I called several people on the list thanking them for the card. My mom actaully called me at seven thirty in the morning telling me she did not like that I called people thankng them for the card and I’d better work more hours becaue I couldn’t afrord to make such calls and she’d make sure the phone was taken out of my dorm room if I kept doig that. I told her as long as I’m payaing my phone bill on time there realy is not a damn thing she can do about it and she has no idea what I can and cannot afford. After all I’m the one making my money, If I could not have afforded them I would not have made them. I don’t know what my mom was trying to accomplish by this but she made herself look kind of foolish and was another example to me and my friends that she was having a difficult time letting go of the apron strings. Again, the best way to handle things like this is just to smile and nod and do what you’re going to do. As long as you’re paying your bills with your money their is not anything your parents can do if they don’t like what you’re doing with the money you’re making. They may complain and while abou tit and make silly threats like mine did but they can’t do anything about it. Besides smiling and nodding another good way to handle them is to tell all your relatives about their behaviour. That tends to make them less likely to pull stuff like this if they know you’re going to tell everyone about it. Again most parents won’t have a problem with the apron strings but some will and you have to know how to deal with them.
and Parents, you have to let your adult children be adults and not meddle in their business. If they are paying their own bills and earning their own money you have to mind your own business. Otherwise your children might resent you and lose some respect. Eccept that they are going to do some things you’re not going to like but you still have no right to tell them how to spend or handle the money they make themselves. That’s just the way it is and you just have to deal with it. Tellng your child how to spend his own money will not teach him any financial responsibility and looks very stupid when you only treat one child this way and not the others. Trust me that really make you as a parent look foolish and your child will probably just ignore you anyway as they should. If they are spending your money that is different but you have no right to tell them how to spend the money they make themselves.
Now I do have other apron string stories but those two are the most blatent examples of my parents and the apron sting battles.
Talk to you later and have a good time at collage.
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